night sky projection kit review gone bad

The best (I really mean worst) astronomy globe ever



A few years ago Batman was given one of those thirsty bird bobbers. You know the ones that dip their beak into a glass and then bob back up, and this repeats endlessly? He thought it was the coolest thing ever, but in a cruel twist of sibling carelessness, it was broken. The sibling as payment for breaking the bird went with Batman to buy a replacement. However, when we arrived there, Batman spied something better! An astronomy globe, and thus an agreement was made. The astronomy globe would be bought, and Batman would call it even with the offending sibling. I looked at the astronomy globe with greedy eyes, thinking of the astronomy lessons we could do with it, and how I could incorporate it into our science lessons. That was my theory.

astronomy globe that turned out so bad
I’m warning you right now. I’m sleep deprived, and have spent the past couple of hours wrestling with technology, so I’m feeling snarky

(We bought this night sky projection kit of our own accord with a coupon at Hobby Lobby, I’m linking to Amazon affiliate links in here)

What came with the astronomy globe night sky projection kit (because it sounds better with a technical name)

a base that had a small light bulb with a light switch, two cardstock hemispheres to be punched out and eventually taped together.

What you need to supply to put the astronomy globe  together:

a straight pin (I’ve got plenty of quilting pins, so we used that, and I now want this set I just linked to because there’s lots of colors, more colors good) or a push pin, scotch tape (maybe if I buy this 12 pack I’ll be able to find scotch tape when I need it), sharp scissors for any places that don’t easily punch out.

Putting together this accursed astronomy globe

(can you tell where this review is going?)

night sky projection kit that just went wrong

step 0. Punch out the globe, totally forgot about that step

1. Grab some of those afore-mentioned pins, and start carefully poking through the cardstock. Show your eager child how to twist the pin just a little bit to make the hole a little bit bigger. In the instructions they point out the different sizes of the dots, letting you know you are free to make the holes bigger to represent the bigger stars by wiggling your straight pin or push pin around a bit.

In all honesty, the push pin is too big for some of the dots, and so we didn’t really use it.

astronomy model review

2. Then your son will grab it out of your hands unwilling to wait any longer. This will keep him happily engaged for at least five minutes as he pokes the pin through the holes.

You on the other hand might be watching and worrying as he keeps nearly stabbing himself.

3. Now that you’re all done stabbing the cardstock, it’s time to start taping. This is where it got truly frustrating. For it to work you have to tape it accurately. Let me just say, my young boy who was definitely under the age of 10 at the time did not want to get it lined up just right. No, he’s more of a “close enough” man.

I don’t blame him, I was the same way at his age. There are many projects I still feel that way about.

4. Now that you have two hemispheres painstakingly taped together, but still in separate pieces, it’s time to tape them together. This is where I fully realized the poor construction. This is also the point where pictures top because I had to do these steps, and I couldn’t do it AND take pictures.

You’re going to balance the top half on the bottom half and then tape it together.

Now there may be some young children that can manage that without the entire project looking absolutely hideous. Mine are not those children.

Mine are more of the, “Put more tape on Mom!” type of children.

So at the end of it all there was tape liberally applied all over that silly astronomy globe.

Batman happily absconded with the globe to turn it on and off and marvel at the little pinpricks of light shining through.

Only it didn’t really shine through.

So we worked on expanding the holes.

While we did that the tape burst apart.

That’s when the boy burst into tears.

His new toy was broken.

I considered bursting into tears, but that would not help the situation.

So I sent him away with promises to fix it later. You know with stronger better tape, and figure out how to get the light shine through.

And I did try, but it kept breaking if I breathed wrong.

It’s now sat collecting an impressive layer of dust on my sewing desk.

night sky projection kit review gone bad

So, final ruling on this product: Don’t buy it. Unless you enjoy crying children and something that doesn’t in the least bit work as it claims.

Hopefully, though, my tale of woe has given you some bit of amusement.


4 responses to “The best (I really mean worst) astronomy globe ever”

  1. Phyllis at All Things Beautiful Avatar
    Phyllis at All Things Beautiful

    Oh, I am so sorry. I know exactly how that feels! Hugs to both of you!

    1. Thanks. It’s been one of those weekends where lots of things didn’t go quite right, so I felt the need to share with everybody.

  2. This is the funniest product review I’ve read recently!

    1. Thanks! I needed a silly break.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *