I’ve shared this with a few of you, but most of you don’t know that one of my best friends has cancer. He’s been there for me through so many things, and he married my best friend, and I love him so much.
I am so scared right now. He is at Stage 4 of the cancer, and is currently taking the last viable treatment for his form of cancer. I know this is all in God’s will, and that He is ultimately in control, but they just got some bad news today, and she’s trying to figure out how to share it with him with all of the pain medication he’s on right now.
I don’t know how to talk about this with my kids. How do I share what’s going on with them? I can’t stop crying, and Batman keeps asking about what happens when people die and I don’t what to do.
So, what I’m saying is I could really use your prayers right now for wisdom, for strength, and for how best to help my friends. I just don’t know what to do.
Update: God is good, even when you’re in pain
So after posting yesterday afternoon. I went and called Jeff, why did I do it after posting, because I knew if I called him right away all he would have heard were sobs, and that would just have totally freaked him out. So that would be not good.
I talked to him for a while and got calmed down a little. Then I called my Mom, and she helped even more. See, the bad news they got is their KOBRA insurance ends at the end of the month (I didn’t want to share yesterday so she would have already had a chance to talk). One of my Mom’s duties at her job is the HR stuff, and so she had several suggestions of things they could do, and then she found a website of a group that is designed to help people in exactly their situation. So, I started to see that there is still hope, and this is how God works things out.
Now, comes that part that truly had my heart singing in the midst of pain. We went to small group, and my friends are part of our small group at church. They came to join us for our Christmas party.
I’m guessing most of you have gone to a White Elephant party, but the general premise is everyone brings a present and you take turns opening presents. When it’s your turn you can either open a new present or steal someone else’s.
It was just a fun night of fellowship and laughter. And so many of us needed it that night.
The highlight of the night came when Tara’s prize present a heated coffee mug was stolen, and Sam pointed out to her that she could steal his present and then he could steal back her coffee mug. She was ecstatic at this possibility, and he very carefully got up and started to head off, and then he made us all think he was going to steal another present. Tara’s look of outrage was priceless!
The second highlight of the night was the whole kid’s gift exchange. We set a dollar limit and all of the kids went out and picked presents……. We didn’t do the whole stealing thing with the little guys, because nobody wanted crying 4 year olds. Instead they got to choose, but they weren’t supposed to look in the bags or boxes beforehand…… That didn’t always work out so well.
Superman was thrilled to get a model airplane kit with stickers and paint. This morning he’s already put together a couple of them and dropped them off the balcony upstairs. Batman wasn’t super thrilled at first with his jump rope (he cried), but once he figured out he could use it like a leash on his brother he liked it much better.
And here’s the rest of the night from the viewpoint of Princess and Superman (I left out about half of their pictures, seriously how many pictures can one kid take?).
One of their best friends come to check out their loot and show off his.
He quite happily got an air horn, his parents weren’t so happy about this. In case you’re wondering even Dollar Store air horns are VERY LOUD!
See his Mom cautioning him about using it. His parents are worried he’s going to wake up at 5:00 on Christmas morning and wake all of them up.
And then afterward we got home and I discovered why my kids were “playing so quietly…..”
In case you can’t tell that’s the entire floor of my sewing/school room COVERED in rice! Needless to say all the crafts and the trip to the library puppet show have been canceled so they can spend the day cleaning.
Oh Ticia! what a devistating thing to be dealing with right now. I am so, so sorry. I will be praying for you as u requested as well as your friend & their family. Hugs & kisses to you during this terribly hard time.
I am so sorry. My oldest daughter has been fixating on death lately- my grandmother died last year from complications due to ALS, and E is just figuring out that I only have one grandma. Where's the other one? Where is grandpa's wife? The best thing I've done so far is teach her about Christ- His atonement, His crucifixion, and His miraculous resurrection. And that because He was resurrected, we can all be resurrected some day. And that we'll all be together after this life. It's such a sweet thing to see how readily children will accept this- that we existed before this life, and we'll exist after this life. The best thing for kids is to know the truth, and if they know we aren't afraid of the truth, they won't have reason to be either.
Courage Mama- you'll know what to do. And peace to you, your family, your friend, and his family.
We're praying.
Ticia, I'm praying for you… for comfort and for wisdom to answer your children's questions. I'm praying for your friend too, and his wife and family. I'm so sorry they've had bad news and I can't imagine how hard it must be for her right now in figuring out how to share it with someone so sick. I'm so sorry… and so sad that this is happening at this time of year.
If you need to vent or talk or whatever, I'm just an email away, more than willing to listen. Take care.
Praying for the families. ((hug))
My prayers are with you and your friend. I am so sorry – I do not even know how to begin to talk to your kids about this. Maybe tie in Christmas and Jesus is Heaven. Sending you lots of prayers and hugs!
I am so sorry. I will be praying for your friends and for you. I did want to say that I have always been honest with my kids about death. It isn't easy, but we do talk about it when someone we know passes away or an animal dies. Like I said I will be praying.
Ticia, we're praying for you all! I'm so sorry.
(((Hugs))) Ticia! I hope the meds will work for your friend – miracles do happen from time to time.
Ticia I am so sorry. Ugh. Things like this are so hard. Know that God has a plan and even if it doesn't make sense to us he knows what he is doing.
Know we are here for you. And I would be honest with your kids. They, by know means, need to know everything but just explain that your heart hurts because someone you love is sick.
I'm sorry that I don't have any wise words of encouragement, but I will be praying for you, sometimes that's all that we can do!