What makes a great husband

Today is my wedding anniversary.  We have been married 14 years today.  Jeff always has to correct me because I keep trying to add a year, which amuses him to no end.  The trend among bloggers is to write a marriage advice post with the number of tips for the number of years you’ve been married.

But all of my tips have been written a million other times by others, and I don’t have any great insights for you.  Instead, I wanted to tell you what makes a great husband.

 

A great husband encourages his wife

 

Jeff is an amazing encourager.  I wouldn’t be who I am today, or writing this blog, or any of the crazy things I try if it weren’t for his encouragement, and his belief in me.

I am not a natural encourager, but watching how Jeff does this has helped me to grow in encouragement.

 

A great husband knows when to be the brakes

Just as Jeff has encouraged me to go out and try scary new things.  He’s also known when to tell me I’m trying too much.  Left to myself I would probably say yes to EVERYTHING.  I only exaggerate a little bit.  But, I think I can manage everything, and then discover much to my surprise that I can’t.  It’s always a big shock to me.

Thankfully I have a husband who can look at me and say, “You need to take a break,” or the super important one, “You need to back off of some commitments, you’re stretching yourself too thin.”

 

A great husband wants to spend time with his family

My Dad was an alcoholic, and a somewhat selfish person.  His idea of vacation was randomly taking time off to golf.  My Mom wanted my brother and I to have family memories, so every summer she would pack up up in the van and take us on month long road trips.  We’d wander around different parts of the country and stop in to see the World’s Largest Ball of Twine or some other silly thing.

It’s a totally different idea for me to see a Dad who wants to spend time with his family.  This is not what I knew growing up.  Jeff looks for times to do special things with the kids.  Yesterday Princess was going to have a friend over, but her friend had a family emergency come up, so she had to reschedule.  Jeff set up a special “play date” with her to go get a cup of coffee and run errands.  As I write this, Princess is eagerly looking forward to her special time with Daddy.

 

A great husband puts his family first

Over and over again, I’ve seen Jeff put aside his wants to fulfill a special desire of one of the kids, or me.  Want a silly example?

Jeff loves cheesecake.  I don’t.  I tolerate cheesecake.  I love chocolate desserts, in particular brownies that are gooey and not completely cooked smothered in ice cream.  Doesn’t that just sound heavenly?

Desserts at restaurants are designed to be shared.  There is no way either of us could eat one of those big huge desserts on our own.  Every time we go out to eat Jeff picks the dessert he knows I love.  EVERY.  TIME.

It makes me feel special and cherished when he does that, because I know he doesn’t really like the brownie.  He wants the cheesecake, or tres leches.

It’s a small thing, but one that I notice.

 

A great husband dates his wife

This shows up in every single one of those marriage advice lists I mentioned earlier.  But, it bears mentioning.  We are finally at the point where babysitting isn’t a big factor in determining date night, but when they kids were younger, our dates were often the two of us cuddled up and watching movies as the kids slept up in their rooms.

Want to hear a silly thing Jeff does for me?

 

I love Dr Pepper, like crazy love Dr Pepper.  I also love the fountain drink version of Dr Pepper.  Sometimes on his way home from work Jeff will get me a Dr Pepper.  It’s a small thing, but it always makes me smile.

 

So, that’s five ways to know if you have a great husband.  They’re silly, maybe not the most helpful tips of all, but that’s what makes my husband great.