Yesterday, Kristi over at Orange Juice wrote yesterday about Mortifying Mommy Moments, and asked about ours. Well, I have two doozies of a story but they’d be way too long to put in a comment.
This first one happened back when Princess was just a baby, and the boys were almost two.
Now, my boys LOVE popcorn. It’s one of the first words they learned how to say, more or less, along with such other important words like ball and dog. Mom was way far down on their list to learn. A fact I will never let them live down.
We were visiting my in-laws up in Dallas and walking through the downtown looking at stuff, and the boys saw and smelled their favorite food, and started yelling at the top of their lungs:
”PORN! PORN! PORN!” And no matter what I did they wouldn’t stop. I tried saying, “Yes, let’s go get POPCORN.” A little louder so strangers wouldn’t think I was teaching my almost two year olds about porn.
We walked across the street to the store and got in there, and it was packed. It was one of those special “Go visit scenic downtown” days, so the downtown was packed and who wouldn’t want to go in an old-fashioned popcorn parlor.
So, we stood in line for 20 minutes with the boys frantically yelling “PORN! PORN! PORN” at the top of their lungs, and me trying to calm them while saying “Yes, I will get you POPCORN,” and all of the strangers in the store looking at me with these eyes saying “What the heck are you teaching your children?” And the almost as common, “I can’t believe she has that many young children” look.
So, that was story one. Twenty minutes of kids yelling porn at the top of their lungs.
Story two.
or Why Not to Go Clothes Shopping with Your Little Kids.
So, at this point in time Princess is walking, the boys are way too big to be corralled in a cart effectively, and I desperately needed clothing of some type or other. I think it was workout clothing. Being, the self-sufficient Mom that I am I load up the three kids, and we head off to Target to try on some clothes. I get there after much searching find something I’d be willing to wear to workout in that doesn’t make me look horrible (I’ve decided that looking all horrible and clothes that are huge are a big demotivator for me, there’s nothing like seeing myself in a big wall sized mirror with my face all red and blotchy and wearing something that makes me look overweight, which I’m not).
I head to try on the clothes, and think “I should go in this great big huge handicapped stall so I can fit all of us in there and the cart, which will keep Princess nicely contained.” Great idea right? Well, the stall didn’t have the best of latches.
I momentarily distracted the boys with some piece of paper or something got started changing. While I was in the process of putting on the horrible sports bra or some such; they opened the door and started to run out. Now, what could I do? I wasn’t about to run out into Target with no clothing on. So, I’m stuck calling after them while frantically trying to put clothes on.
So, after throwing some clothes on, I ran out the door, gathered them up again, and then put them in the cart, much to their chagrin.
And never again did I go clothes shopping with all 3 kids.
I have one that tops that – but maybe I'll email it to you later 🙂
Apparently my husband had a similar mispronunciation of “dump truck” at around that age…
And you have reminded me yet again why I refuse to go clothes shopping with children. Which has something to do with my wardrobe currently consisting of old maternity clothes and hand-me-ups from my younger sisters.
I love both stories. The popcorn story is the best!!!!!! Too funny.
Too funny! We have embarrassing stories but not terribly funny.
The joys of motherhood! Both of these are stories that you will never forget but will take much joy in retelling them. “This is what my children did” moments.
I don't do the clothes shopping thing with kids either. Too crazy!
OK – I was seriously giggling about the second one. I know that it was mortifying, but still – so funny!
Very funny stories! Especially since they didn't have to me! LOL!
Oh – I'm so sorry that you had to experience these moments, but they are quite comical, after the fact, of course!
Well my daughter, the Dora fan that she is, used to call Swiper “fox” but it sounded a lot like the “f” word. Then she had a Dora book where Swiper stole the planks off of a bridge. When she said bridge it sounded like she was saying the “b” word. So she would yell, “fox on bridge” but it sounded like she was saying “f-ing b”.
Well my daughter, the Dora fan that she is, used to call Swiper “fox” but it sounded a lot like the “f” word. Then she had a Dora book where Swiper stole the planks off of a bridge. When she said bridge it sounded like she was saying the “b” word. So she would yell, “fox on bridge” but it sounded like she was saying “f-ing b”.
ROFL! Too funny Ticia.
You “Porn” story made m laugh out loud- and then I shared it with my husband, who also laughed out loud! Thank you for the laughter!
You “Porn” story made m laugh out loud- and then I shared it with my husband, who also laughed out loud! Thank you for the laughter!
OMG!!!! The clothing one would have killed me, Porn was really funny!
Made me think of when Soren first learned the word Space ship he called it Space shiT and was yelling it all over target.
I was laughing aloud!
Ha ha ha ! These are great. Nothing embarrassing has ever happened to me as a mother, fortunately.
Oh Ticia! I'm sorry for your embarrasment, but I needed a good laugh. I'm in tears laughing. If it makes you feel any better, Little J once lifted my shirt entirely up in the middle of a busy mall. I had my hands full, so it took me a second to pull away from him. It didn't helped that I yelped in the horror..all eyes turned to see what was wrong.