To my son as he turns 13

Okay technically I have two sons turning 13.  But it sounds weird to title the post to my son as they turn 13. I don’t know. Either way  my boys turned 13 on Sunday and I’m still in a bit of shock that is true.

You have grown so much over the past year

Over the past year you have both grown and matured so much. I just reread my note to you last year, and all of my hopes have come true. I’ve watched you both ask hard questions and look at the world to figure out how you want it to work. You have both worked to express what you want and why you want it, not the simple “Give me” demand of a young child, but the mature request of a young man stepping up in the world.

Your personalities I wrote of last year are still true. Superman you are still my silly clown, and Batman you are still my serious thinker. Excuse me as I speak to you individually for a moment.

Batman as you turn 13

You have stepped up and said, “I am going to be a chef, and to do that I must cook all I can and try new foods.” You have taken this on in ways I did not expect. I give you a challenging project, and you work and research and look it up, until you get it right.

Keep doing that. It will serve you well as you go out into the world. A man who has initiative will do well in the world. A man who sticks with a problem and keeps trying when it doesn’t go right is going to succeed.

This coming year I want you to concentrate on the small details. You still possess the childish desire to brute force your way through a problem, and sometimes you need to finesse it. The art of cooking lies in the small details and the presentation.

This is an art I lack, so it always amazes me when you have it.

Superman as you turn 13

You are still my goofball. You delight in making people laugh and in being silly. Sometimes I think you wear your class clown as a shield from the world, but it is better to laugh with the world than to hide from it.

You still haven’t narrowed down quite what you want to do yet, and you still have time. You love working with numbers and “inventing,” and I see so much potential in you. You put together things in ways I don’t see until you start expressing them, and it’s been a joy for me to see you connecting things you learn in your independent project with our science lessons in school.

About that independent project. My desire for you this year is to show more initiative, right now your five-minutes younger brother is showing you up in the self-starting area. I challenge you to take your project and run. Run with the experiments, and the science and figure out how it all works. You are amazing at seeing how things are put together and how it works. You can totally do this.

What I’m expecting for you both this year as you grow up to be 14 year olds

I’m expecting you’ll start taking the trash out without me saying, “Boys the trash is overflowing.”

I expect you’ll budget your time on your own by the time you’re 14. You’re starting to understand this, but it’s an important skill to learn.

I expect you’ll be taller than me by next year. I’m not looking forward to that particular detail, but you sure are. You keep walking up and measuring yourself against me. Right now you’re at my eyebrows. It’s not looking good for the home team.

I expect to have a great year with the two of you, and I’m sure that it will be full of surprises of all sorts.

Happy birthday boys year by year

• Happy birthday boys, you’re 12
• Boys you’re 11
• Happy 10th birthday Superman and Batman
• Happy birthday boys (9)
• Happy birthday Superman and Batman (8)
• Superman and Batman are SEVEN
• My boys turn 6
• Batman and Superman turn 5
• Batman an Superman turn 4